Although I have kept a diary for the past 20 years, i don't believe anything i have done in my past will compare to what i have officially decided to do. Take a year off dating and dealing with men to replenish myself and find my soul. Now don't get me wrong, I am not a man hater or basher, I LOVE men and that is the problem. I believe I love them more than I love anything else. The year 2010 has forced me to take a good hard look at myself when it comes to relationships, and i believe that the real issue is I have been searching outside of myself for satisfaction, versus coming to terms with my real true loves. I don't believe I even know what they are. So not only am i feeling weighed down by my experiences this year, my spirit is down, so therefore my standards and expectations of those around me are down. Now I'm not just gonna stop dating and somehow believe that it is going to change me, this goes much deeper than that. It really has to do with putting as much energy into myself as I have to please others, friends are included in this as well. So everyday I am going to tell you a little bit more about myself and document the next 365 days. Will I make it?? I'm not to sure but I'm damn sure going to try. Now...i just need to figure out what the hell am i going to do with myself....
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