Today was a little bit difficult. I don't know if it was because i spent most of the day quiet doing studies for school but it was just kind of a down day. It was a struggle for me with my thoughts today. You know how sometimes you keep going off about a situation even after its done because you cannot believe the nerve of it...well that was me today. I kept remember this guy who i was "talking to" we weren't even dating, the first time i invited him over my house he for some reason assumed that meant we were going to sleep together. Once he realized that it wasn't going down like that, he became rude. He apologized for it afterwards, but....too late. Even though we work in the same vicinity I never spoke to him again. Realized that i've been dealing with assholes forreal. I'm unsure why i cannot spot them much quicker but i guess that is something that i will work on during this year.
Another thing i was working on today was trying to figure out what i am going to do with myself over this next year. I had begun working on a book about a year ago that i didn't finish. Its really good and that is definately something I have planned to complete. Along with submitting songs. I have been a songwriter most of my life, but never submitted any of them. Why? I have no idea, just got caught up in life I guess. Finish my weight loss. During 2010 I lost over 60 lbs, which is excellent but i am still not completely satisfied. I now am wearing a 14/16 which while not huge, is also not small. I want to atleast get down to a 8/10 and for my height and shape that is perfect.
I ordered a new bed today, because i also decided to work on redecorating my home how I want it. I love morrocan style, its a look that i have always wanted but never put forth the energy to do.
The more that i think about it the more i realize that I have put all my wants/needs/desires on hold for everything and everyone else. My daughter has 3x the amount of clothes that I do, my friends get counseling whenever they desire but are rarely there when i want to talk, and my family....well i nor you have enough time in life to talk about their bullshit. But its slowly becoming clearer to me how good this decision was to just really take a step back. Tomorrow is back to the weekday grind...hopefully everything goes well. Talk later.
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